Derelict of the Year 2019
2019 Winner: Jeremy Roberts
Party Info
TIME AND DATE: 9PM, 9th MayLOCATION: Sent by Email
Bring food, drinks, or donations.
Nominations
- Joseph Arreguin
- Sheng-Chi Shih
- Jeremy Roberts
- Jerry Luo
- Spence Lunderman
- David Taylor
- Ken Yamamoto
- Thomas Harris
- Utkarsh Agrawal
- Johanna Doty
- Ruiyang Wu
- Austin Nickel
- Brian Bell
- The Department's Spirit of Mischief
- Alberto Acevedo
- Jeff Crunchy-Boy Lee
- Jeremy Roberts
- Ben Savoie
- Doty Committee of 2018
Joseph Arreguin
I'd like to nominate Joseph Arreguin for a doty. He's off starting a business instead of grinding away on homework problems like the rest of us.Sheng-Chi Shih
I'd like to nominate Sheng-Chi Shih. He's listed on the graduate student directory on the mathematics website, however his webpage says he's a postdoc at Universite de Lille in France. Apparently, he thinks receiving his PhD warrants leaving not only the University of Arizona, but the country too! I claim he is derelict in his duty to be a formless, phantom department member. Almost never present, there are rumors that he stalks the upper floors of the math tower late on Friday and Saturday nights. At the stroke of 12:39am, every 2nd Saturday of the month, you can barely, just barely hear him scraping chalk on a blackboard in a dark vacant office. The moment you open the door his ghost vanishes, and with it all hopes for that evening that Eisenstein congruence modules will yield insight on the Riemann hypothesis (CV copy-pasta looks legit, right?).Jeremy Roberts
We would like to nominate Jeremy Roberts. He's the first member of the department in recent memory to sport a pinup model silk hawaiian t-shirt (it might have been cotton, legend has it that the last time this occurred was ten years ago). This is but one unremarkable indicator that his sylistic achievements far outstrip both "Fanny Pack Harris" and any of the many graduate students who are dressed to go hiking at a moments notice. It's quite clear that the ladies have noticed too, as he is the likely the only graduate student with a girlfriend who is willing to be seen at his place of work. Most likely, he is the only graduate student with a significant other. If we haven't seen 'em, they don't exist. In his first year he has displayed a remarkable level of unshakeable inquisitiveness that will be of great service to the research community in the long run. We can only hope that he takes up transcendental mediation so as to consult directly with the Platonic forms. Rather than staying in the cave and inquiring us, the blind graduate students, we hope that he will eschew our mundane input and consult the illumination of the sun.Jerry Luo
Craigslist is usually regarded as a last resort to find a place to live, It is quite simply, a place for the dregs of society to convene. One afternoon, Jerry Luo, in a deliberate haste to find housing for the crazy Los Alamos summer season, decided to try his luck among the dwellers of craigslist. Out jumped a wonderfully delightful listing, and within hours, Jerry had written and deposited a huge cashier's check to secure his spot. Check to make sure the "property manager" was a legit person? Worry that perhaps the name on the bank account to deposit to didn't match the "property manager" name at all? Perhaps Google the ad and photos and see that the listing was stolen from a vacation home rental? All great ideas but useless after already kissing goodbye to a security deposit and a month's rent.Spence Lunderman
I'd like to nominate Spence Lunderman for leaving town. He's in Los Angles. The U of A is here. That's an absence if I've ever seen one. Oh, and as grad rep he's supposed to run grad tea. The closest we got was the AMS doing it in the Fall and that didn't last.David Taylor
I'd like to nominate David Taylor. He said he'd provide donuts and tea. Last semester he did. This semester he didn't.Ken Yamamoto
I'd like to nominate Ken Yamamoto for making every email appear in my browser as python does in my IDE.Thomas Harris
For starting the Fanny Pack fashion trend.Utkarsh Agrawal
For being a participant in the Fanny Pack fashion trend.Johanna Doty
I have seen 14,000,605 possible outcomes of the DOTY party and in exactly one a person with the last name Doty wins the award.Ruiyang Wu
For dazzling us with his magical chalkboard presentation. Why prepare a fancy smancy slideshow like the rest of us, when you can wow us with your epic chalk skills? Not to mention those breath-taking pauses as you consulted your hastily written notes scrunched up notes, that look like they came out of your pocket. Was that a look of frustration and the sound of a heavy sigh from our professor? Or was it the look and sound of awe, as you outshined us all!Austin Nickel
Ever since his arrival, Austin Nickel has captivated us with his amazing dereliction of duty. His RTG talk a few years ago was simply a sign of things to come. Avoiding his mentor Klaus for weeks prior, his talk featured numerous pauses and interruptions by Klaus as Austin continued to say things that were very clearly wrong. A bad sign of things to come, but Austin decided that his true passions were in the field of number theory, that is, until he continually avoided doing the work he was assigned to do. Bouncing around professors, it seemed the final straw was when Hang Xue asked one of his own students, "Is Austin still my student?". Unfortunately, it seems like Austin's quest has come to a close this year and what better way to commemorate his journey than a Doty?Brian Bell
The field of mathematics is often considered to be an old boy's club that keeps women out. The Association of Women in Mathematics attempts to change that and make the field more appealing for women. Brian Bell, who is occasionally known to have rather high opinions of himself, decided this was a noteworthy cause that he would like to be a part of and became an officer for the group. This is all fine and good until he didn't do a single thing for the organization all year, leaving the other officers completely unprepared to take over his duties.The Department's Spirit of Mischief
I'd like to nominate the Department's Spirit of Mischief for its conspicuous absence (or great success in covering its tracks) this semester. Either astoundingly few notable mistakes and misdeeds have taken place or the department at large has been unwilling or too cowardly to tattle on the offenders. Either way, The god of mischief, indeed the mischievous heart of the department should be brought to task for its absence from the public eye.Alberto Acevedo
Since his arrival to the math department, Alberto Acevedo has been a top performer in extracting as much free stuff as possible. Despite seeing him out and about quite a lot, I don't think I've ever seen him spend his own money.
One nice gesture the department does for its grad students is that it pays for lunch with the colloquium speaker. One afternoon, it was just me, Alberto, the speaker, and the allotted 90 dollars for lunch usually meant for 5 people. Our destination was The Dutch, a rather fancy place but one we could still probably stay well under the allotted recommended amount. Upon receipt of the menu, Alberto's eyes turn straight to the menu item with the highest posted dollar amount and turns to me and asks "what is risotto?" (To be honest, I had no idea and said something along the lines of "uhh I think it's Italian"). Alberto also took his opportunity to order one of the many fancy 6-7 dollar coffee drinks that only a place like The Dutch would offer (alas alcohol is not part of the included package). After a few sips, Alberto decided that he didn't quite like that one and ordered another perhaps fancier one. Our final tab: $89.67.
Vote Alberto because he exemplifies the level of frugality and enterprise all grad students should aspire for.